Couples Therapy: Prioritizing My Relationship When Time Is Limited
Does finding time to even think about making time for your relationship seem to be getting harder and harder? You may be feeling more and more pressure to work longer hours, keep our kids entertained, and care for your parents. Then somehow on top of all of this you’re expected to see friends, take care of yourself, and keep an eye on everything that everyone else is doing. Making time for your relationship seems like an impossible task, and I even wish there was a magic pill that made this easy.
The truth is that you can’t do everything. Even though many of these tasks of life are things that you are probably thinking are “normal” or “what everyone does”, this is not the case because no two people have the same life. That is as much a blessing as it is a curse at times. That does not really change the question either, of how you can spend more meaningful time in your relationships when the demands of life are too much?
You must take the time.
You may be surprised to learn that meaningful connection in a relationship with your partner is possible in as little as 15-20 minutes a day! This means that if you need to break your time down into 5 minute spurts a day to be able to laugh and play with your partner, then do so! One way that I do this with my partner in my relationship is by having a rule against taking our phones out on the evening walk with the dog. This guarantees us 20 minutes every night to be able to talk to each other.
On days in our relationship when me and my partner are running to opposite ends of the city with kids, work, and errands; we play games. As childish as this sounds, having games in our relationship to distract us from the chores helps us to laugh and connect with each other while we are busy. Even though me and my partner are busy we find a way of taking that time back to be able to connect in our relationship despite the demands on our time.
Lastly, you can try the buddy system with another family member, friends, or even school mates for your children. In a relationship, being able to go on a date with your partner even once every two months has significant benefits for your relationship. Finding someone to trade off with periodically for sleepovers means that child care is more accessible and you’re able to get out as a couple more easily. You are not meant to live in isolation and you can’t make time for the things that are important to you unless you let yourself get help once in a while.
If you are struggling with being able to put tasks down to be able to take the time, or you're scared, or can’t break the cycle, contact us, or schedule a free consultation and our therapist can help you overcome your barriers through couples therapy.
