Relationships are built on attachment and bonding. A distancing in the attachment or a rupture in the bond can threaten the relationship. Individual people are generally not the problem; poor relationship patterns are. Counselling allows people in loving relationships to learn emotional, communication, cognitive and behavioural skills that help create new patterns supportive of bonding and attachment.
Couples counselling is not only for people in romantic relationships. Sometimes having some guidance when making changes in your relationship can be very helpful. Whether you are married, to be married, looking to move to the next step in your relationship, ending a relationship, facing challenges in a parent/child relationship or friendship, counselling can be very beneficial. We offer a no judgement zone for anyone seeking relationship counselling.
There are three primary reasons people seek relationship counselling:
All relationships face issues from time to time. When it comes to couples counselling, the sooner you recognize there’s an issue and need to seek help, the better.
Emotional intimacy is the part of a relationship that often makes people feel vulnerable. You could be married to a person for years and never reach the level of emotional intimacy. It is so easy for us to have conversations with our spouses that do not reach a certain emotional level. This can be topics such as talking about your day, discussing the kids school etc. Even though these are still very important topics in a relationship, it is easy to get into a loop of only having these ‘superficial’ conversations.
Communication is the foundation to any relationship. When communication is lost, the relationship can become strenuous. Counselling can help you and your partner learn tools and strategies to be able to enhance your communication.
Lack of communication and intimacy can make a relationship feel like a roommate situation. This means that you may be living with your partner but it begins to feel like you are living with a good friend. The intimacy and communication is gone, yet you still love that person but something just feels, ‘off.’ Counselling can give tools to rekindle relationships and get back to the place you used to be.
Infidelity in a relationship can be very upsetting, however this does not mean that the relationship has to end. It can be sexual, emotional or both. Couples counselling provides tactics to begin to mend the trust issues in a relationship. As long as both partners in the relationship are willing to move forward, counselling can be very beneficial. When cheating is involved it assists with trust issues, communication issues and intimacy issues. Infidelity does not have to be physical, it can also be emotional. Sexual infidelity is pretty self explanatory, but emotional infidelity is a little bit harder to identify. Cheating emotionally is more common today due to so many options for technology.
Cheating in a relationship can be very painful, but today couples are facing a different kind of infidelity. Couples are facing something called financial infidelity. This can be anything from hiding debt, bankruptcy to filling loans in the other partners name. Finances alone can put a lot of strain on a relationship, when it comes to hiding finances and issues that is when it becomes an even bigger issue. In counselling the tools can be provided to help regain the trust that has been lost and also assist with the financial planning aspect of the relationship.
Whether couples already have children, want children or have grown children; this topic can always raise issues in a partnership. When a couple already has children they may become stressed due to behavioural issues or school issues. Sometimes couples may not see eye to eye about decisions or disciplinary actions. Couples who want children may not have the same ideas. Conceiving, adopting, choice on whether to have children and more can all cause tension in a relationship. A very common issue when it comes to children is ‘empty nest syndrome’ this is when a couple has adult children who have grown and left the home. This can drastically change the dynamic of a relationship because the child(ren) were the main focus for so long that some couples may have to reconnect and change their lives around to suit the change.
Whether between siblings, parents and their kids, adult children and their parents, blended family members from different biological families, all family relationships can be difficult at times. The same effective communication, emotional management, cognitive and behavioural tools used in “couples” counselling work for many different relationship configurations. Whether it is a dyad (two people), triad (three people) or more, these skills can help create more effective relationship patterns.